The Flower Girl

 The Beautiful game 

The silence was awful, Neither me nor Jess wanted to speak first.

Getting out of the car and walking up to the front of the house, Jess throws open the door and stands in the entrance looking at me.

“I’m going to bed,” she informs me, waiting for me to enter the home before closing the door. “Can you ask Kevin to sort dinner for you both….”

“Fine,” I huffed back at her, walking past.

Swiftly turning away from me as I move past, Jess stomps up the stairs and grumbles under her breath.

I know I shouted at her, but honestly, she can’t just assume I’m going to stay this way! I’m a grown man and the body of a small girl is not right for me!

Entering the living room, I try to remind myself it’s only two days away now. I only have to have this silly girl's body until the weddings finished

Then I don’t have to wear panties or dresses ever again!

“Kevin,” I say, giving him a call guy nod as sit next to him on the sofa.

“Did you like the dress?” he replies, giving me a tap on the leg. “Jess sent me a snap of you. You looked so super cute!”

“Dude….” I whined, rubbing my face. “Don’t….”

Kevin looks down at me and outrageously ruffles my long hair.

“Don’t…….,” he chuckles, as I fight with him to stop messing up my hair. “Well, that’s no fun. It’s not every day my best friend is looking so happy wearing such a pretty dress!”

Groaning with annoyance, I flatten my hair down. Brushing any last strands from my face, Kevin holds out his phone in front of me.

Jess must have taken a picture of me when I was getting it fitted. He seemed to delight at that fact.

Shit! He is right though, I do have a big smile on my face!

“See,” Kevin laughs. “Look at little Stevie’s cute girly smile in his cute girly dress!”

“Shut up man!” I yell back, feeling my eyes beginning to well up. “You try and act macho when you’ve got little girl parts between your legs. It ain't easy!”

“Little girl parts?” Kevin says, leaning back into his seat on the sofa. “Sounds like a great new nickname for you!”

Wiping a single tear from my eye, I slump down.

“Why are you being so mean to me,” I whine, with my lip quivering.

My emotions are like a rough sea. I didn’t want to cry, but I just couldn’t stop it.

“Oh man,” Kevin moans, looking down at me about to cry. “I’m sorry Steven, don’t cry.”

“It’s not you,” I reply back, now gently sobbing. “I’ve upset Jess and I’m feeling really bad about it.”

“What did you say?” He asks, scratching his head nervously.

I wanted to tell Kevin what I’d said, but it wouldn’t come out. I don’t know if I just didn’t want to admit how nasty I’d been or if my girly immature emotions just couldn’t deal with it.

“Tell me what you said…Steven,” Kevin repeats, now with a more serious tone.

I couldn’t take it any longer. I could feel the anger welling up inside me. I could feel the tears wanting to burst from my eyes.

“Steven…..?” he says, pushing me over the limit.

Throwing myself up and off the sofa, I wail out in tears. Scurrying out of the room, I enter the kitchen and crawl under the table. Hiding my face, I sob into my arms.

I felt so awful about what I’d said!

What was making me so unhappy was that the logical part of me knew it needed saying, but my emotions were scattered.

Am I losing my mind!?

Kevin doesn’t come to find me and as I continue to sob into my arms, I hear him go upstairs.

No doubt to check on his fiance.

This makes me feel even worse. Are they going to come downstairs and punish me? I hated it when they make me go to my room without dinner. It’s so degrading!

As the minutes pass, no one comes to find me and my crying eventually stops.

Looking up and out from underneath the table, I wipe my sore eyes and wonder what I should do.

Giving it some thought, I’m suddenly interrupted by a soccer ball rolling across the floor and hitting one of the dining table chairs.

Coming to a stop in front of me, Kevin's legs soon appear behind it.

“You wanna…..,” he says, kneeling down to look at me under the table. “Go for a kick around?”

Still too scared to answer, I look away from him.

“You wanna try out these new boots?” Kevin continues, placing the soccer boots Jess brought me, on the kitchen floor next to the ball.

Turning back to look, Kevin had seemingly disappeared. I could no longer even see his legs.

Tucking hair behind my ear, I crawl out from under the table.

Sitting on the floor, I pick up the boots and hold them to my feet.

“Think you may have to change out of that skirt,” Kevin says, scaring me from behind. “Pantyhose and a pleated skirt ain’t exactly regulation.”

Looking up at him, I want to give him a smile.

“I did buy you shorts the other day,” Kevin continues, trying his best to convince me.

“You……,” I say looking down at the floor nervously. “Did?”

“I sure did,” Kevin replies, dropping a pair of pink sports shorts into my lap.

Quickly holding the pink shorts up, I let out a groan of displeasure.

“Really…?” I moan. “Pink?”

“Yeah,” Kevin answers, almost offended. “They are girl's shorts. Pink is a girl's color. You are a girl.”

“Why?” I gently question, knowing I should be getting told off. “Why aren’t you upset?”

“Look,” he replies with a serious tone. “Let's go get you to change and have a kick around. I think that’s best for everyone. Gives us all a bit of time and space.”

“What about my knee?” I anxiously ask, rubbing at it.

“Since you’ve been Emily, has it hurt at all?”

“Well…no,” I reply, realizing he has a point.

“Go get your shorts on and meet me outback,” Kevin continues, now gently jogging on the spot. “If we see anyone outside..... Let's just tell them I’m your dad. I don’t want people thinking I’m hanging around with a random little girl!”

“Really….?” I gripe, looking up at Kevin jogging. “I’m really not comfortable with that.”

Instantly stopping his jogging on the spot, Kevin looks down at me with a raised eyebrow.

“So…..,” he says, rubbing his chin. “Should we just tell them the truth then….? Your my best friend and you’re now doing us a favor by being a little girl……?”

“Alright…….” I sarcastically respond, knowing he’s right. “Just don’t ask me to call you daddy. I think we’d both be in therapy with that one.”

“Agreed,” Kevin laughs, helping me to my feet. “Go and get changed”

Quickly rushing up the stairs, I stop and tiptoe past Jess’s door. I didn’t want to disturb her!

Step by step I eventually make it to my room.

Swiftly pulling down my skirt and pantyhose, I put the pink shorts on.

Looking into the mirror at my girly chicken legs, I think I look silly!

Shaking my head, I pull off my top and throw it down.

“I must have a tank top somewhere,” I mutter, looking at the clothing that had been brought for me.

Success! I find a black strap top and a tracksuit jacket.

Pulling it over my head, I tuck loose hairs behind my ears.

Also putting on some frilly white socks, I make my way back downstairs and find Kevin waiting for me.

“Well don’t you look cool,” He says smiling.

“Thanks,” I sarcastically reply, slipping my soccer boots on and lacing them up

“You wanna go to the green?” Kevin says, grabbing the ball and opening the back door.

“Sure,” I answer, standing on my studs and making clacking noises as I walk.

The green was kinda like a large play area for the local kids. Somewhere me and Kevin used to go as kids back in the day. We’d play basketball and soccer most of the time.

Doesn’t take us long to make our way to the green. Annoyingly, some kids are already playing on the soccer pitch. They aren’t using the entire thing. They’d set up two goals using their jackets on the floor as goalposts.

As we approach, Kevin throws the ball out in front of me.

“Go have some fun,” he comments, giving me a thumbs up.

Chasing after the ball, I couldn’t believe how light I felt racing across the ground. My footsteps felt like feathers compared to my old body.

“I don’t feel any pain!” I yell, turning to face Kevin. “This is awesome!”

Running as fast as my little body would allow me, I love the feeling of the wind in my long hair. I love how quick I could change direction. I especially love how much energy I have.

Kicking the ball does take more effort with my smaller muscles, but I was able to kick It quite far for a little girl.

“Hey….girl!” one of the boys playing on the pitch shouts over to me. “Pass our ball!”

Looking up, I see their slowly ball roll past me.

Jogging to fetch it, I run it towards the three young boys who are playing. They looked about my age, so I thought they might let me play.

As I dribble the ball towards the boys, I look back at Kevin to see if it was ok. He gives me a wave and a nod.

“Thanks,” the smaller of the three boys says as I approach all three.

Stopping the ball with my foot, I look at each one of them and size them up.

“Can…..I play?” I ask, looking at the tallest of the three boys.

Not getting an answer straight away, the three boys give each other looks. I could see them judging me. I bet it's because I’m a girl!

“Shall we play two on two?” the small, more friendly boy suggests.

“Sure,” the larger boy replies with a nod. “Me and Peter verse you and the girl!”

“What!” the smaller boy whines, and gives me a look. “Why do I have to play with her?”

Gritting my teeth, I stay quiet. What does It matter if I’m a girl? I was almost a pro!

“It’s your idea, Justin,” The larger boy exclaims with a smug expression.

“Fine!” Justin huffs.

Running over to Justin, I put my hand up for a high five.

“I’m St…..,” I say and instantly stop myself.

Justin gives me a weird look and leaves me hanging.

“My name is Emily,” I continue, correcting myself.

Breaking into a smile, Justin finally high fives me back.

“Are you any good?” He then asks me, as we stand side by side. “I think they are going to kill us you know!”

“Nice to meet you, Justin,” I say, with a smug expression. “Don’t be so sure. Let's give it our best!”

“Go, Emily!” Kevin shouts from the edge of the pitch, clearly knowing he’d be embarrassing me.

“Is that your dad?” Justin asks, pointing at Kevin.

Looking over at Kevin and giving him the stink eye, I turn back to Justin with a smile. “Yeah…., something like that.”

“Hey, pink shorts and Justin!” The larger boy shouts from halfway across the field, to get our attention. “First to ten!?”

“What’s his name?” I ask Justin, as we cautiously walk to the center spot.

“That’s Charlie, the one who just shouted and the other one is Peter,” Justin answers.

“Charlie!” I shout over to the other boys. “Get ready for an ass whooping!”

Not expecting them to just laugh at me, I look over at Kevin and he’s urging me on. I was kinda glad he was here. I think I’d be really nervous if it was just me here. This body of mine is pretty small and fragile.

Charlie then places the ball into the center spot and heels the ball towards Peter.

Justin then moves to block his run, causing Peter to pass back to Charlie.

I’d seen the pass coming, so I did my best to intercept the ball before it gets to Charlie. As I stop the ball with my dainty feet, I look to find Justin, but I can’t pass to him.

I could feel Charlie coming up behind me like a train. As he got closer, It dawned on me how much bigger he is than me.

Trying my best to fend Charlie off using my body, he instantly pushes me off the ball.

I fall down flat onto my hands and knees, as he steals the ball and runs off.

“Sorry pink,” he laughs, giving a quick look. “That’s why we don’t play with girls!” 

Getting up and brushing myself down, I wasn’t going to take that attitude. Even though I wasn’t a real girl, just an honorary one, I wasn’t going to take that!

Being small and lighter, I easily chase him down. Justin was marking Peter, so it was up to me to stop Charlie from scoring!

Getting in front of him, I block his path towards the goal.

“I don’t think so!” Charlie laughs, easily pushing me aside once more and getting a shot at the goal.

Falling onto my backside, I huff in frustration at my lack of physicality.

“Goal!” Charlie cheers, running past me.

“Crap,” I groan and sigh.

Slowly getting to my feet, I brush myself down once more and waft stray hair from my eyes.

“You ok Em?” Justin asks, rushing over to me.

Answering him with a nod, I felt like I wanted to quit.

I wasn’t able to play the game as I wanted! In the past, I’d be throwing my weight around and making myself known to the other team.

Clearly, with my female body, that wasn’t going to happen. Maybe Charlie is right! Maybe being a girl means I shouldn’t be playing.

“Emily!” Kevin then shouts and beckons me over. “Come here for a second!”

Running over, I wipe a few tears from my eyes so he wouldn’t know I was feeling sad.

“Being a girl sucks,” I whine, as I slow to a walk, towards him.

Getting down on his knee, I give Kevin a funny look. Was he trying to make fun of me for being short?

“You’re not a six-foot busier anymore,” Kevin states, looking me in the eye with a serious expression. “You’ve got to change up your playing style!”

Rubbing the tears from my eyes once more, I slowly nod my head with the realization that I’m not going to be able to play with them.

“Hey now…..,” Kevin says, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Don’t get sad! You need to play to the strengths of your new body.”

“Yeah…..?” I answer with a sniff.

“Yes!” Kevin continues with confidence. “You’re quick and agile! You need to be tricky! Think about all those times you had issues defending against guys who were a lot smaller than you. They ran rings around you with their skills and speed!”

“Yeah, that’s right!” I reply with a smile streaming across my face.

Turning back toward the pitch, I now had renewed determination. I knew what I needed to do!

Running back towards Justin, I turn back to face Kevin. “Thanks….err……Dad!”

Rejoining Justin, who is waiting for me on the center spot, I give him a high five.

“You ready?” I ask, excited to kick off again.

He nods and smiles in reply.

Rolling the ball to Justin, he dribbles with the ball off to the side, with Peter chasing close behind.

Charlie soon as me marked and he’s blocking Justin’s pass to me.

Knowing I could outspeed him, I run as fast as I can into space. Justin sees and passes the ball through Peter's legs.

Controlling the ball, I knew I only had seconds until Charlie caught up with me.
Instead of bracing my body to fend him off, I kick the ball out in front of me. I dribble with the ball towards the goal.

Controlling the ball with my quick feet, I could hear Charlie huffing and puffing to keep up with me.

“Emily!” Justin cries out, making himself open for a pass.

Looking up to find him, he was in space and with a great opportunity to score and level our game.

“Give me the ball Pink!” Charlie growls, steaming up behind me.

I wasn’t going to have enough time to pass, I needed to do something else! Knowing I could hold him off, I had to think of something.

Wating until Charlie was super close, I quickly flick the ball between his moving legs and jump out of his way.

Before he even knew what was going on, I’d dogged him and run off after the ball!

Smiling like I’d won the jackpot, I pass the ball across the ground to Justin, who moves past Peter with ease and scores a goal!

“GOAL!” I yell out, running towards Justin with my arms up into the air.

“That was awesome!” Justin yells back, throwing both his hands up for a double-high five.

Slapping our hands together, Justin’s face was alight with a huge grin.

“For a girl….you can really play!” He playfully comments.

“Thanks!” I cheer, feeling the rush of the game that I’d missed so much.

This was the first time I’d played the game for years. After my knee injury, I was told never to play again. I was so very gutted. If I’m completely honest, I think it was around that time that my life started falling apart.

“Did your dad teach you?” Justin asks, pointing an excited and clapping Kevin.

“Sure,” I answer, as we both jog back to our side of the center spot. “Something like that.”

Feeling so happy about playing, the time flew past. The sun has almost gone down completely by the time Kevin called me over to go home.

Me and Justin didn’t end up winning, but that wasn’t important for me. Just playing the game was enough!

I’d forgotten just how playing the beautiful game made me feel. So free and so happy!

Not only that, Justin was being really friendly.

 As I said goodbye to them all, Justin asked me to come over to his house to play video games.

I had to decline his offer, but it felt kinda nice making a new friend.

I did promise to play on his team again. Hopefully, I can get another game with them before the wedding!

Waving as we both leave the green, Kevin looks down at me and smiles.

“You enjoyed that,” he says, gently brushing dirt out of my hair.

“Did you see me?” I excitedly ask, reliving moments in my mind. “I was really good….wasn’t I dad?”

“You’ve still got it!” Kevin exclaims and gently taps me on the back.

Coming through the back door of the house, Kevin makes me take my dirty boots off.

Making me head upstairs to change out of my dirty clothes, I throw them into the wash bin.

Not knowing what to wear, I just grab the pair of skinny jeans I’d been brought and one of the pink girly t-shirts.

Being careful not to disturb Jess, I make my downstairs and into the kitchen, where Kevin is cleaning my boots over the sink.

“That was so much fun!” I say, giving Kevin a big smile as he turns to look at me. “That Justin boy also asked me to go round his house!”

“He did?” Kevin chuckles, turning his attention back to the dirty boots.

“Yeah,” I cheerfully continue, untying my hair and letting my hair cascade around my shoulders. “It’s nice to make new friends, huh?”

“Sure is,” Kevin replies, scrubbing at the dirt.

Stroking my long hair out straight, I look up at Kevin and I wonder if I should go say sorry to Jess.

“Dad…..err…..,” I mutter, then instantly correct myself. “Kevin……do you think I should go say sorry to Jess?”

Kevin turns to me and his smile has become a little more serious.

“Yeah….about that?” he says, putting my boots onto the washboard. “What did you say to her?”

Feeling the blood rush to my cheeks, I was starting to feel like I was in trouble. Remembering why I felt so upset earlier.

“Can I explain myself first?” I ask, not being able to look him in the face.

Feeling really uncomfortable, I allow some of my hair to cover my eyes. It kinda felt nice I could hide behind my hair.

“Ok then,” Kevin replies, now standing directly in front of me. “I have to be honest Emily. I haven’t seen her so upset in a long time.”

“I’m sorry!” I cry out, stamping my foot in frustration.

“Tell me what happened,” Kevin gently replies.

“She’s been treating me like a child the entire time Kevin!” I complain, folding my arms. “Constantly telling me what I can and can’t do!”

“I mean, you are a nine-year-old girl,” Kevin scoffs in reply. “But go on, tell me what’s upsetting you.”

“Where to start!” I grumble, giving him a dirty look. “I mean, first off….why does she have to make all the decisions for me? I can’t have coffee. I can’t have my cell phone. I have to go to bed early. I have to brush my hair…… She even decides what I can wear! I don’t want to wear dresses all the time!”

Rubbing his face, Kevin groans and looks down at me unimpressed.

“Emily,” he says sternly. “She’s just trying to help you adjust to being a girl. You’re going to be wearing a dress for the wedding, so she wanted you to get used to wearing them. If she’d given you the choice, you’d be wearing an outfit like you are now.”

Glancing at my skinny jeans, I look up at Kevin and give him a wry smile.

“See,” Kevin says, holding his hand out at my clothing. “As much as you don’t care to admit. You are a very young girl and very young girls don’t drink coffee and they do go to bed early!”

Not wanting to hear it, I turn my head away sharply, flicking my long hair around as I do.

“You still have told me why she’s upset,” Kevin gripes, tapping his foot.

“Well….,” I say, tucking hair behind my ears. “She also keeps holding her hand out for me, like I’m a child and she keeps telling everyone who asks that she’s my mom!”

“……Emily,” Kevin huffs in disappointment. “You’ve called me dad twice now. What else she is supposed to tell people when you’re out and about and you start calling her mom? It’s just easier.”

“She’s not my mom Kevin!” I scream back, getting extremely upset. “My mom’s…..dead!”

Sobbing, I cover my face with my hands.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Kevin asks, softly placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Cos!” I sob in reply.

“I’m so sorry Emily,” Kevin continues. “Jess just told me earlier and I had no idea!”

“Not….only that,” I continue, talking through my hands covering my face. “I lost my job and the family home to debt.”

Now placing both his hands on my shoulders, Kevin kneels in front of me.

“Oh man….,” he huffs. “I had no idea.”

Still sobbing, Kevin gently pulls me in towards him. Like a huge blanket, he brings me close to his chest and holds me tight.

“When did she pass on?” He asks, gently stroking my hair.

Tearing up, I struggle to answer him through the tears.

“About…..Five……,” I stop and hold my face deep into his chest. “About five months ago!”

“That explains it,” Kevin replies, like he’s solved a puzzle. “You kinda fell off the radar, didn’t you? I thought we hadn’t seen you much because you were mad about me not having you as my best man.”

Slowly nodding my head, Kevin pushes me back from our embrace and holds me by my shoulders.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks, giving me a worried look. “I thought you were mad at me and needed space. Now I find out you needed me more than ever! I feel awful!”

Still crying, I don’t answer him, I just look at the floor,

“To lose your house and everything,” Kevin continues, shaking his head. “Is that why you came here the other night….desperate to help?”

Whimpering, I just slowly nod in reply.

“Is it also why you were so willing to transform into the body of a little girl?” He questions, having me completely sussed out.

I answer again with a small nod.

“Jesus Emily,” Kevin groans and brings me back in for a tight hug. “We would have let you stay here if you’d told us!”

Hugging me tightly, I burst out into floods of tears. Sobbing and whimpering, Kevin kept holding me tight until I’d calmed down.

Gently stroking my long hair, I eventually do stop crying.

“I can’t believe you’d be willing to swap your gender just to have somewhere to stay!” Kevin laughs, pushing me back, but still holding onto my shoulders like before.

Wiping my sore red eyes, I shake my head at him.

“It’s n-not just to stay h-here,” I reply with a few sniffs. “I r-really do want to be part of my best friend's wedding too.”

Giving me a smile, he wipes a tear from my cheek.

“I know man,” he says with joy in his eyes. “I wanted you to be part of it too. I wouldn’t say this in front of Jess, but I’m glad you are man enough to transform into a little girl. I don’t know if I’d have the balls to do that.”

“I don’t have any balls,” I jokingly reply with a wry smile.

“True!” Kevin gently laughs. “Still, I think I understand why you’ve got upset with Jess. You never actually told me what you said to her though.”

“I told her she wasn’t my mom,” I answer, looking down at the floor embarrassed. “I also went on to tell her she would never be a mom,”

“I see,” Kevin says, letting go of my shoulders. “Yeah……., that’s going to have upset her.”

“I’m really sorry!” I cry out. “I didn’t mean to be so nasty!”

Shaking his head, Kevin looks down at me with tears welling up behind his eyes.

“Let me tell you something about Jess,” he says, wiping at eyes. “Jess is from a very very old family of witches. With Jess, the family chain is broken. She has no one to teach her witchcraft to. The family secrets will end with her, and she will break a chain that stretches back hundreds of years.”

“Oh,” I say listening intently.

“Because she’s been unable to have a daughter, her mother and father have completely disowned her. She’s not allowed to practice her witchcraft at all because she is seen as a failure in the family's eyes.”

“That’s not fair!” I blurt out in anger.

“Totally,” Kevin replies, nodding. “Like you, she’s unable to do the thing she loves, and she’s lost her entire family. All because she can’t have a child. Can you imagine what that’s like for her?”

“That’s awful,” I reply, shaking my head.

“Yeah!” Kevin continues, looking down at the floor. “Why do you think the flower girl is so important to her?”

“I dunno?” I reply, completely unaware as to why.

“She wants the flower girl to walk her down the aisle. Kevin states, looking at me directly in the eye. “She’s been so very excited about it now, knowing it’s you who’s walking her down the aisle.”

“Shit!” I moan, gently slapping my forehead with my palm. “And I go and say those nasty things to her!”

“It’s more than that,” Kevin continues, still looking at me with a serious expression. “What you’ve given her, is a taste of motherhood. I see her bouncing out of bed in the morning to go help you get ready. Honestly, I’ve never seen her like this. She’s glowing and it’s all because of you being in our home.”

“So….me telling her not to mother me……,” I say, understanding the situation. “It’s breaking her heart because I’m stopping her from doing something she can’t do naturally?”

“That’s right kiddo,” Kevin says with a sigh. “Do you understand a little more why what you said has cut her deep?”

Understanding, I just give Kevin a sorrowful nod.

“I do,” I answer with a dour tone.

“You are incredibly adorable y’know,” Kevin says, brightening the mood with a chuckle. “Even I felt something when you called me dad earlier.”

“You did?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.

“Yeah,” He replies with a big smile. “But that doesn’t matter. You and Jess need to have a long talk I think. The wedding is in two days and I’d really like for everyone to be on good terms!”

Giving him a smile back, I knew what I had to do to make it better.

“I will go say sorry,” I tell him. “I think I’m going to change into a dress first.”

“Good choice,” Kevin grins, standing up and giving me a thumbs up. “You may want to brush your hair and blow your nose. You’ve been crying and I’m sure she doesn’t want to see your snotty nose.”

Gently touching my nose, he was right. How embarrassing!

“Don’t worry!” Kevin laughs, reaching for some kitchen towel. “I told you! You are so incredibly adorable. A little snot ain't going to put anyone off!”

Taking the kitchen towel from his hands, I dab at my nose.

“Ok,” I say, handing the kitchen towel back to him. “Any advice for me on how to say sorry to your future wife?”

Kevin rolls his eyes and hums.

“I’d start by telling her about your soccer game.” He says, giving me a smile. “She was so pleased that you let her buy those boots. She will be happy to know you had a good time!”

“Thanks, Da…..,” I go to say, but stop myself. “Thanks, Kevin!”

Laughing, Kevin steps back to the sink and starts cleaning my boots again.

“No problem, Emily!” he chuckles. “That’s what dads are for!”