She Calls Me Ruth

"OK, Roger, come here and give me one last hug before I go,” said my mother.

“No,” I responded and stood rooted to my spot.

“Oh, come on, sweetie” my grandma cooed, “We are going to have so much fun this summer, you’re never going to want to leave.”

I knew my grandma was right but I continued to wear a scowl.

“Fine then,” My mom moved to the door.

“Susan,” grandma chastised my mom.

“What?” my mom turned her anger on grandma and instantly regretted it.

“Sorry mom,” my mother apologized, “I didn’t ask my company to send me on another three-month franchise inspection tour. I didn’t tell his father to leave us…”

Grandma held up her hand stopping my mother’s tantum in its tracks. Grandma then came to stand behind me, “neither did Roger.”

My mom stared at her shoes. Then she caved. She went down on one knee and hugged me. “I know this is not your fault. I’m sorry I can’t take you with me, but I know you and Gram are going to have a great summer and if you’re really good we can spend your last week before school just the two of us, OK”

“OK,” I mumbled.

She tussled my hair, and parroted, “OK.”

Mom stood and gave grandma a hug with me in the middle. Their perfume filled my nose and I smiled for real “Thanks again, mom,”

“No problem. Grumpy Gus will be gone in no time,” Grandma said with a knowing smile. They walked out together “Call us when you get to your first stop,” I heard grandma call after mom as she backed out of the driveway.

Grandma closed the door and turned to me with a smile, “Come on roger, I have a surprise for you upstairs.”

“I can’t wait,” I said as I took her hand, “I can’t believe I get to be Ruth all summer.”

Grandma and I stopped at the landing, “You would have gotten to be Ruth all last summer too if you had owned up to wanting to dress like a girl sooner.”

“I know, I know,” I said stopping in front of Ruth’s room, my room. “I was afraid of what you would think,” I admitted and hung my head.

Grandma pantomimed being shot with an arrow, “That hurts,” She said, “I always thought I was the cool grandma.”

“You’re not the cool grandma, Gram,” I said and then smiled, “You’re the coolest grandma.”

Grandma took the rolling suitcase I had brought and said, rolled it right into the hall closet, “You won’t be needing these.”

“Surly I’ll need a few things,” I asked remembering last summer when I had to be Roger a few days a week while Ruth’s clothes were being washed.

“Not this summer, sweetie. And don’t call me Sherly,” grandma said and laughed at the joke I had heard her tell 100 times. “I went to all the garage sales last fall and hit paydirt at a couple of them. You have dresses, swimsuits, and shoes galore.”

My heart began to race as I opened the door to my room. I teared up a little as I stared at pink walls, a four-poster princess bed, and a little vanity with a mirror. “OH, Gram!” I exclaimed, “It’s so pretty.”

“Not as pretty as you sweetie,” she said as she walked me over to the dresser. “Arms up,” She ordered and removed my shirt.

She handed me a white bra with a little pink bow between the cups. I put it on and frowned. “I hope everything you got me is not this big,” I said looking down at the empty cups of the bra.

Grandma laughed and pulled a box out of the bra drawer of my dresser. She removed two tear-shaped objects from the box and came over to stand behind me. Then with a careful hand, she inserted the breast forms into my bra. The difference was night and day. “There your go,” grandma said, “You won’t be 18 till the end of the summer so let’s start with, ‘C’s and go from there. I don’t want you to look like Pamala Anderson.”

Grandma stood back and admired her handy work. I looked down at my new chest and then asked, “Who?”

Grandma just laughed at my question and started pulling out clothes for me. First, she showed me a cream blouse. Next came a vintage brown romper dress with buttons up the front and beadwork along the straps. I shiver in anticipation. To that grandma added pink panties and knee-high socks. All I need was a brown beret and I would look like a cute little 1950’s girl scout. “Is everything you bought for me this girly?” I asked.

Grandma put the pile of cloths on the bed and answered, “Yes. Is that a problem?”

I smiled back at her, “Nope. Just checking.”

“You go into the bathroom and shave yourself all over like I showed you before,” grandma ordered, “then come back here and I will do your makeup.”

“I can do my own makeup, Gram,” I protested a little hurt that she would think I would forgot how.

“I know you can sweetie,” grandma said in a soothing tone, “But it has been a while and so I am just going to help you the first few times. OK?”

I knew it wasn’t really a question and so just mumbled, “OK.”

“What was that young lady?” Grandma snapped.

“Yes, Gram,” I said standing up straighter the way she had taught me and started walking towards the bathroom.

“Ruth,” grand ma called out to me.

I turned with perfect posture and looked back at her. “Yes, Gram.”

“Forgetting something?” She asked.

I could not imagine what she was talking about. After a moment grandma looked down at the pink panties I had forgotten on the bed. I walked back, picked up the panties and head for the bathroom once again. Grandma smacked me gently on the butt as I walked by. “We’ll make a girl out of you yet,” grandma joked.

I was so exhilarated at the sight of all the new personal items that awaited me in the bathroom. From the perfumes and little bath oils to my new unicorn tooth brush. I was in heaven. I put on my panties, sprayed on some perfume and shaved my legs. I plucked my eyebrows so they were two feminine lines and then walked back out to grandma.

She took the last of my boy clothes and holding them at arms-length dropped them into the trash bin. I put on my Ruth clothes, taking several moments to relish in how amazing it felt to be back in girl’s clothes. I then put in small pearl earrings. Gram simple smiled at me in the vanities mirror. “What?” I asked afraid I had done something wrong.

“Nothing, sweetie,” grandma insisted tearing up a little, “You just look so much like your mother.”

Grandma applied my foundation, concealer and eyeshadow. She coated my lips with a very light lip gloss and started in on my nails. While my nails dried, she brushed and styled my hair. “As it grows longer,” grandma said idly, “I will have more options but for now we are restricted to only a few looks. Of course, I am not sure how much longer we can let it get.”

“Why,” I asked blowing on my nails.

“Because your mother already thinks it’s too long,” grandma explained. “As we were walked out, she asked me if I thought I could talk you into getting it cut this summer. If you don’t get it cut by the end of the summer, we are either going to have to come up with a really good excuse for why we didn’t get it cut or you’re going to have to tell her about Ruth.”

I’m not sure why but at that moment something fired in my brain. My throat went dry and I got a little light headed. I had formulated an idea that both thrilled and terrified me. I decided to test my idea on grandma. “Gram,” I said very deadpan, “maybe we should tell mom about Ruth.”

Grandma stopped brushing my hair and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I turned in the chair and looked up into her face. Grandma looked a little shocked. “Is that what you want, sweetie?”

“Yah,” I said surprising myself and grandma. Then I smiled with relief, “I think it is.”

“It’s your decision,” She turned me back around and started brushing my hair again. “We can tell her tonight when she calls,” grandma said sounding a little anxious herself.

“And if she disowns me,” I asked only half joking, “I can just keep living here with you.”

“Of course, you can,” grandma hugged me from behind. “Whether you are Ruth or Roger, you are always welcome here.”